2019, Blog Tour, Book review

If Only I Could Tell You by Hannah Beckerman #Review #BlogTour @hannahbeckerman @orionbooks

Today I’m very excited to be able to share my review for the wonderful If Only I Could Tell You by Hannah Beckerman as part of the blog tour. My thanks go to Tracy Fenton, Orion and the author for the invite and the ecopy received via NetGalley.

About the book

Audrey’s family has fallen apart. Her two grown-up daughters, Jess and Lily, are estranged, and her two teenage granddaughters have never been allowed to meet. A secret that echoes back thirty years has splintered the family in two, but is also the one thing keeping them connected. 

As tensions reach breaking point, the irrevocable choice that one of them made all those years ago is about to surface. After years of secrets and silence, how can one broken family find their way back to each other?

If Only I Could Tell You is available to buy now – Amazon

My thoughts


Well I will apologise now as I’m not sure how much sense this review will make, I’m sat here with tears dripping down my face having just finished this heart-breaking yet heart-warning story.

Jess and Lily are sisters but haven’t spoken for nearly 30 years. What happened in June 1988 to make the sisters break their bond, to make Jess so angry that she won’t even be in the same room as Lily?

If Only I Could Tell You, tells you the answer to these questions over the course of the book, secrets are slowly revealed as Lily, Jess and mum Audrey slip back in time where memories are heart-breaking.

Lily and Jess couldn’t be anymore different, Lily is successful, she lives for her job and has what looks like the perfect family life. Jess on the other hand is a single parent, money is tight and she seems to be struggling to be happy. I didn’t particularly take to Jess to start with, she made me frustrated. Her stubbornness made feel quite angry sometimes and I just wanted to tell her to grow up and I couldn’t understand why she persisted on making things so awkward especially under the circumstances. All is revealed later though and gives you an understanding to why she is the way she is.

Audrey on the other hand I loved, even though she’s struggling her family are always at the front of her mind and she’s determined to get her daughters talking again. She’s full of determination, strength and love.

If Only I Could Tell You affected me in a way I just can’t put into words. There is a part of the story revealed about half way through the book that broke me, I had ugly snotty tears and having been in a similar situation with my daughter I felt the families pain, Audrey’s feeling of failure, a mother’s unconditional love and want to protect.

Although this is a heart-breaking story it is also a story that will fill your heart with hope and love and although I cried quite a few times the story is written with sympathy and understanding. Each character comes to life and I couldn’t help caring for them deeply like they were a part of my family.

If Only I Could Tell You is a wonderful story that I just couldn’t put down and when I really, really had to, I couldn’t stop thinking about the characters and their stories. It’s a story where you’ll desperately want to read fast so you can find out how it will end but it’s also a story that you want to savour with its beautiful writing and characters.

If I could give this book a million stars I would.

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